Leicestershire 471 (14 points) vs Kent 445 for 8 (13 points).

It’s three years since Scyld Berry wrote: “Should Leicestershire be allowed to survive?” in the Daily Telegraph. This raised an interesting question. Should the Daily Telegraph be allowed to exist? Which would we miss more? One is a county cricket club, loved by its membership and beyond. The other is a festering, sewage outflow pipe of an excuse for a news organisation specialising in clickbait and racism. So it’s a tough one.

As Leicestershire have won the title a lot more recently than Kent, this particular item of clickbait might generously described as “weapons-grade wank”.

They also happened to be top of Division Two at the start of play and not many expected Kent to win here. The eventual draw might have owed something to the weather, but this was a far more even contest than the table suggested it might be.

It started badly, but then it always does. This red-ball season is beyond saving. With a fair wind Kent might just avoid the wooden spoon, but the hope of those first few games has been nuked and before the session was out we learned that Kent had been docked eight points for disciplinary infractions.

And while you can understand the ECB want to crack down on dissent, this had the air of a Home Secretary trying to look tough on crime by locking up homeless people.

The clincher was apparently DBD’s tetchy leap when he was given out off his helmet in Cardiff. Should he have done this? No. Should Glamorgan have appealed for a catch off the nut? Also no. Is it going to make a difference? Probably not. Is it victim-blaming bollocks? Oh yes.

The one good thing about being bottom of the table is that you literally can’t get any worse and as Ben Compton pointed out in his Wednesday night interview, good things are happening behind the scenes.

Rumours are going around and for once some of them aren’t grim. Sam Northeast is coming back (good). Matt Milnes is coming back (good). Nathan Gilchrist is in purdah (harsh, but a sign of ruthlessness).

As for actual facts, Jas Singh was seen batting in the nets. He won’t play again this season, but he’s clearly on the mend and Hollioake clearly rates him.

The actual game turned into something of a non-event, the inevitable consequence of most of day three being wiped out, although it’s worth pointing out that this at least represents an improvement on Cardiff.

There were no match-scupperingly incompetent spells or game-wrecking sessions, although the mornings on days one and two were admittedly a long way from optimal.

Kent won the toss, chose to bowl. This was reasonable enough as conditions were damp and the sky was overcast, but when Agar found Rishi Patel’s edge in the first over, he was dropped by Ben Compton, allowing him to make 85.

Leicestershire reached a demoralising 201 for one before Kent found some joy. To be more accurate, Parkinson found some rough and but for Compton’s second drop, when he spilled an easy chance to get rid of Hull, he would have had career best figures and an eight-wicket haul. Instead a last-wicket partnership between Hull and Scriven darkened the mood, with the latter becoming only the second first-class player ever to get out for 99 while batting at number 10.

He too had been dropped, although the chance Ekansh put down was a lot more difficult and if he’d ridden his luck to that point, it well and truly ran out in the 90s. He was on 94 when a drive landed millimetres from the rope and on 99 he ran two, only for the umpires to single leg byes. Evison then had him plumb lbw.

471 looked a long way off and there was a worrying five-over spell to survive before lunch, but with Compton anchoring the reply and Denly and Ekansh both getting starts, the picture at the end of day two didn’t look too grim.

The same could not be said of day three, at least not in the most literal sense. It was one of those days when you contemplate the sheer pointlessness of it all.

Suspecting we’d be in for several hours of watching rainfall I decided there was no point taking the quickest route to the ground and that a pleasant amble via Challock would be preferable.

I’d reckoned without Operation Brock, aka Operation Appease Racists, perhaps the single most cretinous, pointless and braindead road scheme ever devised on this island. (Something else to thank the Telegraph for. Cheers lads.)

We got 9.5 overs in before the rain returned, during which Garrett did his job by batting through and Compton survived. The rest of the day was spent waiting. As soon as the wicket looked like getting dry enough it started raining again. At one point there was enough respite for a 5.30 restart to be scheduled, but at 5.20 the rain was becoming increasingly heavy again and the umpires finally decide to “fuck it off,” (as the late Jim Swanton might have put it.)

Which left us with Friday, and even those of used to watching this season’s final day catastrophes unfurl were struggling to see a way Kent could lose this one, short of a declaration. Given Leicestershire’s league position they had little incentive to take risks and Kent had comfortably avoided the follow on target by the time it was getting dark again.

At lunch it was announced that Mohammed Rizvi, the break out star of this season’s 2nd XI, would be joining the team for the one-day cup and after it Compton looked as though he’d decided to enjoy himself as he chased his double-century. He reached it with a stylish sweep off Rehan Ahmend and once he’d got there he launched the same bowler for six.

He took a single off Patel to pass his highest score and was finally out when he came down the wicket to Rehan and was stumped.

With the action now little more serious than the average pantomime, someone in the Underwood-Knott stand yelled: “Bring on Handscomb!” to which Leicestershire’s scorer Paul Rogers replied: “don’t you bloody dare.” As a contest it was all-but dead, but there are many worse places to be than the St. Lawrence on a Friday afternoon. A full list is available, if requested.